What I’ve been missing.
I asked Karen when I would be able to bike up hills/mountains this morning. She shrugged and gave me a casual, “You can now if you want”. I casually said, “Really? like how big of a mountain?”, trying to hide my rising hopes. We settled on Old Stage - a small hill/mountain just north of bTown.
Well, I just got back and let me tell you, I uncorked it. I’ve been waiting for months upon months to do something of that magnitude. Yeah, I’m outta shape, but I’ve got a lot bottled up inside and it seems to work as pretty good fuel. I climbed the south face in 12:13 from the deer crossing sign to the mail boxes at the top. It took me a little longer than yesteryear, but I haven’t climbed anything more than a few flight of stairs since October. Ahhh, and the downhill… that felt very nice indeed. Of course, I nearly forgot to smile until the very end of the descent. Regardless of the smile, I was happy, and neurons were firing. When I bike, when I run, I think. For someone reason that’s how I work. And luckily, thankfully - It felt as if a tornado was in my head today, a good tornado.
I was thinking about websites, about design, about programming, about medicine, about opportunity, about recovery and aspirations. A small candle flickered in my mind today. I emerged from this hell that is recovery for just a little while. I feel good right now. I almost feel better. I know too well that that feeling will come crashing down soon. I’m as prepared as I can be for that. But for now, tonight, I’m happy.
Filed by ryanroth at July 26th, 2007 under Endurants, Life, Young & Hip