The convergance of uno
I went on a run Saturday. So far as I can remember - the first in at least six months. Karen let me loose on a thirty minute walk/jog around Boulder reservoir. One minute walk, one minute run. Considering this was something I’ve been waiting for, for what seems like forever - I feel like I should have been smiling, laughing, enjoying what was. Not the case. I forgot to enjoy it all together.
What does that mean?
Emotional wear and tear, and fear. The lack of pure physicalness has begun to wear more and more on me. Excitement seems far far off - to be very honest. It’s that thing I’ll get when I get to run up that first hill and make my lungs and legs burn I suppose. But on that run, I was just plain scared. I was scared I would rehurt myself - scared for groin pain or hip flexor pain, or any sort of pain at all. Bracing for a disaster the whole time, I forgot to love and laugh. I’m trapped in a mind boggle and I gots to figure out how to escape.
I’m heading Portland tomorrow to see my sister grab her masters degree. I get to go on another “run”. Perhaps I’ll escape out there..
Filed by ryanroth at June 10th, 2007 under Life