Showering
It’s been a long two weeks of showering. I didn’t really think about it going in, but then again, I didn’t really have the time. The day after surgery I found myself in a foreign hotel room that smelled like Subway and I hadn’t showered for two days. I like my showers and I suppose that’s because I like feeling clean. To be honest, I don’t usually forgo my daily shower unless I’m camping or under some strange circumstances, like say, stuck in a hospital bed only moving so I can pee in a cup.
So here I was 30 hours out with a hip that wouldn’t bend, a rather large amount of residual pain, and a skinny bathtub shower. I looked into the bathroom and realized there was no way I was going to be able to get into the shower by myself. Let alone get my shorts, socks, and underwear off. I didn’t really have time to process that either, but if you’re about to go down for surgery – realize this – someone else is going to have to help you shower, and chances are they will see you naked.
My person was my mom, go figure right? Basically, I’d struggle to get into the bathtub (detailed below) and find myself in the shower with two crutches and my boxers still on. This is where I had to face the facts and toss out a little fear, my mom was going to have to help me get my underwear off. I don’t think she’d seen me naked since I was five or six, but I couldn’t let that matter much. I let that fear go pretty quick, for pretty simple reasons, my left leg was getting tired of holding my body up. Mom pulled my boxers down to my feet. But still my underwear was stuck there and my right leg wasn’t lifting up on it’s own that day. So of course I learned to magically balance on crutches in the shower while she pulled them out from under me. That there is love.
I’d have my mom turn the water on, sometimes it was too hot, sometimes it was too cold. I was balancing completely on my left leg by this time, while either leaning on the shower wall or holding onto the metal guide rail I felt so lucky to have. Lots of hopping, twisting and turning to get my upper body washed. I’d call for the shampoo and a hand would reach in and squirt some shampoo into my hand. Face wash, soap, all the same way. And I realized was no chance in hell my legs were getting washed before week two, unless you’ve got a better wash stick than the one they give you at the hospital. Plastic was so flimsy I almost snapped the thing in half. Last time we tried that.
Seriously though, each day gets better. Yeah – I still bring my crutches in the shower with me. And yes, I still balance mostly on my left leg, but each day I can wash a little more of my leg, reach a little farther, and gain a little more balance. I hope with all hope that each day will get better, and so far each day has.
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Here is how I climbed into the shower. First, I’d have my mom get the water warm, since I couldn’t bend over to save my life (quite literally). I’d maneuver so I was facing the spout but standing just on the outside of the tub. I’d then put one crutch inside the tub and onto the rubber bath mat (make sure you have one, you don’t want that crutch so slip). I’d lean forward and at the same time sorta lift my right leg backwards so that my knee could skim over the side of the bathtub. I’d then place my leg lightly in the tub. Then I would literally put all of my weight on both crutches and get my left leg in. Remember to balance, the whole process can be a little dangerous, it was enought to cause my mom to squirm.
Filed by ryanroth at April 14th, 2007 under Life, Young & Hip