What it means sometimes.
I’m colorblind. In a world full of references and helping hands, I sometimes feel lost. I feel confused. And I feel helpless. I feel stupid. Ya, stupid. I bought a jacket the other day, a beautiful, beautiful jacket. I thought it was black. Nope, purple. Found that out three days later. Tonight I was cooking ground beef on the stove, after several minutes I couldn’t tell if the meat was done or not. I couldn’t tell if the meat was pink. Now this wasn’t the first time I’ve cooked meat. Nor the first time I’ve had to ask for help. But I felt stupid calling my roommate up from the basement to check it out. I had to laugh out loud at myself as I asked the favor. No big deal for him. But I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt like I needed to laugh at myself. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve laughed at myself.
Imagine art with color confusion. Imagine driving, or graphic design. Imagine websites or shopping. Think of what your life would be if you mixed greens with reds, blues with purple, or couldn’t discern between earth tones. What would that be like and how would your life be different? My friend Reed looked up at the sky one night as we were driving, oh how magnificent|beautiful|picture-perfect he said, and I didn’t see it.
My point here is not to draw your sorrow. Rather, it is to share an emotion that almost everyone has felt at some time or another. Felt in different situations, things as drastic as war, trivial as politics, or fulfulling as love. Color makes me feel helpless, and I wonder what makes you feel that way.
Color, or the lack thereof, is one of the only things that causes me intermittent pain in my life, besides being in the midst of the burning fire I call my quarter-life crisis. I know that we all have these little pains, or sometimes big. But remember, these pains are part of the greatness that helps us understand what should not be, and what can be. Lows reveal highs and the versa.
++ I wrote the first draft a few weeks ago, didn’t change much. Hope you like.
Filed by ryanroth at November 26th, 2006 under Life