XL = Extra Lame, or something.
Football is mostly lame in my book. But it’s American, people like it, yadda yadda - so i’m ok with it. But i’m not ok with the Rolling Stones and Mick Jagger. Were those Lycra pants MJ was wearing? A Lemony Snicket coat? Nike cross trainers? My buddy Rick once bought some undershirts that were five sizes too small - and he insists on wearing them - b/c Rick’s not one for tossing money away. But ol’ Mick, oh my gosh, his little prada t-shirt that highlighted his arm flab made more than one person from my party involuntarily relinquish the crab cakes they had previously consumed.
Hell Mick, this is the super bowl. Not Tommy Hilfiger’s yacht launch soiree. An oversized Ricky William’s jersey would have at least drawn some attention away from that malnourished body, and maybe someone would have mistaken him for an actual football fan. No chance though, the Ricky Martin high fives and beyonce booty shake just ruined it for everyone. Maybe this is some sort of psychological attack on Americans by ol’ Bin Laden. I wouldn’t but it past that whack job.
And then the dancing (if one could call it that)…Mick had no frickin idea what was going on from the waist down. Maybe the nike sticky rubber was too much, or maybe he fractured his hip during his classic tummy jiggle. Regardless of the cause, it was embarassing. Embarassing to watch, embarassing for the NFL, and embarassing for America. He looked like frickin Forest Gump doin the Irish jig. That cat should retire, and take his cronies with him. Hell, the drummer didn’t even bother to die his hair, but he did borrow his wife’s baby T. How you gonna try to convince us that your’re young, your’re hip when you leave the guy in back with a silver mop on his head? Clearly everyone on stage was heavily influenced by either drugs or old age. Realistically it was probably both - and that’s a bad combo.
Now, I’ve been taught throught the years: no complaints w/o a solution. So I’ve been thinking about this all day, and here’s what I got: I think next year we should have a George Bush Senior vs. Bill Clinton tug of war. Or at least something that draws laughs from humor and not pity.
Yeah, Lemony Snicket - I bet Jim Carrey was pissed.
Filed by ryanroth at February 5th, 2006 under Life